Revenge
by AnimeCat
Summary: Relena wants revenge for loosing her Hee-chan to Duo! With Hilde's help, of course ^_~ Full of Relena-bashing and yaoi!!! R


AnimeCat: This was my very first yaoi…I had absolutely no intention of posting this but Makoto_Kino read it and said I should post it….

Dunno what I was thinking…*scratches head* I guess it's original but it seems so cliché I think it might be a reproduction of something I read long ago…if you recognize it as yours, give me proof and I'll tug it down, with full apologies ^_^

Relena bashing!! Lots of it!! I do not want flames!!

Ummm….review?

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Revenge

Relena was adamant.

"We must take a stand!" She said shrilly. Hilde hid her face in her hands. 

"Relena…it's not a big deal." She muttered. Relena stopped staring at the ceiling and looked down at Hilde. 

"Of course it's a big deal!" Relena continued shrilly. "When our boyfriends run off with each other…what do we do?"

"Get them back…?" Hilde murmured in confusion. 

"Precisely!" Relena shouted. "And how will we do this?"

"Relena…I'm serious, it's not that big of a deal…"

"Hilde! I need revenge! Heero's been messing with my head for years, then he pulls this! I n-e-e-d revenge!" She squealed. Hilde blushed.

"I actually…uh…er…with Duo, I kind of…always suspected this would…happen…" She admitted reluctantly. "It just…fit…"

"You did?" Relena gaped. Hilde nodded. "Then we must have revenge! Duo's been leading you on, too!"

"Well…" She looked uncomfortable. 

"C'mon." Relena pleaded. Then Hilde nodded. 

"Okay." She sighed quickly. Relena beamed. 

"Good. You get the hair dye, I'll get the scissors."

Relena opened the door, and Hilde followed her inside the pitch-black room hesitantly. Relena sneered at the sight of the sleeping pilots, and Hilde covered her eyes and went red again.

"We shouldn't be here." She whined quietly. 

"Don't be a baby." Relena hissed. "Hand me the dye."

Hilde handed it to her and shuddered involuntarily. This was creepy! This was the last place she wanted to be…in the room where her ex-boyfriend was sleeping next to his new…boyfriend. Ick! She felt a trickle of blood slid from her nose. She wiped it away and reluctantly assisted Relena in Heero's new 'do.

Relena smiled evilly. The braid dies next!

~~~~~~

Sun on his face, what a nice way to wake up. Duo rolled over and opened his eyes to see…

"Slim…Shady?" He shrieked loudly. Cobalt eyes narrowed.

"Pardon?" Heero asked coldly. Duo looked ticked.

"I knew I shouldn't have bought you his CD for your birthday!" Duo scolded. "But I never figured you'd wanna be the next Slim Shady look-alike." 

"I fail to see what the heck you're talking about." Heero continued very icily. 

__

"Your hair." Duo screeched. And he pointed at the bright yellow hair atop the Perfect Soldier's head. Heero raced for a mirror and what he saw truly horrified him. He let out a scream…unlike anything we could ever imagine…a scream so high-pitched and so feminine… He had the scream of a six-year-old girl. 

His first act was to punch Duo. "Is this a sick joke?" He continued screaming. Duo recovered, rubbing his nose and giving Heero a very evil look. Then suddenly Heero paled almost to the color of his new hair. 

"What?" Duo asked. Heero pointed right at him. Duo motioned for him to continue. 

"Your…hair…" He choked. Duo felt his blood run cold. 

"What about it?" He whimpered, unable to look. He looked down at his pillow, and saw, to his dread, his wonderful braid, no longer attached to the hair on his head. Shocked, he brought a trembling hand to his hair. He felt…nothing. His hair was as short as Heero's. He recovered from shock and howled as mournfully as Heero had.

~~~~~~~

Quatre looked up from his breakfast, and looked at Trowa and Wufei.

"What was that?" He asked them. They looked around and shrugged. Suddenly a loud thundering noise came down the stairs. Two teenage boys stood in the doorway of the dining room, not recognized by their comrades. 

"Who did it?" One of them hissed. With dawning realization…

"Heero!" Quatre shouted in shock. "…Duo?" 

Duo let out a weak whimper and buried his face into the braid, which he had clutched tightly in his hands. They could hear him sobbing loudly into it. Trowa dropped the fork he'd been bringing to his mouth, and Wufei was slowly pouring coffee all over himself, not paying any attention.

"You guys have a very twisted love life." Trowa said with an unreadable expression. "Now you're doing each other's hair like a bunch of little girls?"

Duo stopped Heero from grabbing his gun without even looking up from the braid. 

"Someone…" Heero hissed. "Did this when we were asleep."

"You think we did it?" Quatre asked pointedly.

"Maybe." Heero snarled. Trowa laughed hoarsely. Duo looked up from his braid, his face streaked with tears. 

"Anyone could have done it!" He shouted. "We were so tired last night from--" Wufei's head hit the table, a bright red liquid pouring from his nose, "playing video games all night." Duo continued, watching Wufei with confusion written on his face. "We slept like rocks." 

"I didn't lose." The now blond Heero muttered. Duo rolled his eyes.

"You lost. Face it. So you lost six times in a row to me in Mortal Combat, so what?" He turned to the other boys. "I hear him mutter, 'Mission…failure', and I leave the room for five minutes, come back, and he's lying on the floor due to loss of blood." He complained. He grabbed Heero's hand and held up his wrist. He had a bandage on it.

"Unfortunately for him, and fortunate for me, he didn't die." Duo continued. Heero looked totally unconcerned about the topic of the conversation. "And I _know_ I locked the cabinet where I keep my shaving razor! How he got it out is beyond me."

"Now, _who the (Beep!) did this to our hair?_" Heero screamed. A thought occurred to Duo. He turned to Heero slowly, and at the same time the same thought occurred to Heero, and he turned to Duo.

__

"Relena…" They hissed. Duo tightened his grip on the braid and clenched his teeth. 

"She dies…" He growled.

"No argument here." Heero added. Duo turned to Quatre and Trowa, who were freaked. 

"We should go…" Trowa said slowly. He and Quatre stood up and left the unconscious Wufei and his dish of blood at the table.

"Yeah right." Duo shouted, grinning. "You're just using this as an excuse to go and make out!" 

~~~~~~

"Why, Heero," Relena said in a sweet voice as she opened the door, smiling broadly, "this is a surprise!"

"Cut the crap, you little--" Duo screeched, trying to get past Heero and string Relena up by his braid. Heero held him back calmly.

"Duo," She continued sugary-sweetly, "you look like a boy!" Duo made a high-pitched shriek and made another jump at her. Heero put a protective arm around Duo.

"He never looked _that_ much like a girl." He argued.

"Thanks, love." Duo muttered sarcastically. Relena smiled falsely again.

"Heero! What an interesting hair color!" She continued in that sugary voice we all can imagine. 

"That's what we came here to talk to you about, Relena." Heero said flatly. 

"We're gonna kill you!" Duo screamed again, and made another leap. 

"Precisely." Heero said flatly. Relena became very nervous.

"But, Heero," She started.

"You did say you wanted me to kill you." Heero pointed out, cocking an eyebrow. 

"I didn't mean it literally!" She sobbed loudly and raced into her house. Duo and Heero smiled at each other and loaded their guns calmly. They entered the house walking, and looked around, wondering where she'd gone.

"I love cat-and-mouse." Heero mused. Duo smiled.

"We can just use the Gundams and blow this place up." He suggested. 

"No. This is more fun." Heero said. Duo nodded.

"Let me land the killing shot, please, please, please, please?" He whined. Heero patted him on the back.

"I'll shoot her down." Heero agreed. And they searched the house. Duo caught sight of some really stupid looking shoes(1) under a curtain.

"I found her, Heero!" He shouted gleefully. He pulled back the curtain. She screamed loudly and ran into the other room. "She got away, man! Get her!"

A shot rang out. Duo made a disappointed sound. Such a shame. He wanted to get her! But what the heck, Heero looked like Slim Shady, so he was bound to be itching to kill her. He walked into the room where Heero was looking very proud of himself. He smiled at Duo.

"Sorry. I couldn't stop myself."

"No prob." Duo shrugged. Hilde wandered into the room. She saw Relena sprawled on the floor. She held her hands to her cheeks and pointed to Relena the next second.

"O My God!" She screamed, in a really convincing impersonation of Stan(or that other guy…never seen the show) from South Park. "He killed Relena!"

"Yes Hilde." Heero sighed contentedly. "Yes I did."

Duo patted him on the back.

"She'll never bother you again, love." Duo said happily. Hilde got a nosebleed. Duo turned to her and said, "You're beginning to remind me of Wufei. Want me to set you guys up?"

@-------

*hides from readers*

1-Have you seen those shoes she wears with her pink uniform?? Damn!! *shudder*

Review? Please? Be nice? 


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